TWO'S BETTER THAN ONE
Love makes us feel fully alive, feel present, feel aware to all of life’s possibilities. Some even say that “Love is God”. Love envelopes two people or objects into a blissful unison with creative purpose in the same way duality enveloped would return to the unison of Blackness / Infinite Source. Today on “The Other Side with Sihle Sibeko”, we investigate the institution of marriage, love and how the unison of duality leads to creation – in this instance, wealth creation.
{Disclaimer: this post is not fixed in lifestyle choices or sexual orientation. Fit its principles to whatever lifestyle and sexual orientation you, the reader, feel comfortable with.}
CONSCIOUSNESS AND CUSTOMS OF ANCIENT AFRICAN MARRIAGE SYSTEMS
As I’ve stated in prior posts, African Spiritual Sciences (“AS”) denotes that Blackness / Infinite Source is Oneness of infinity circumscribed to an indivisible blanket beyond space & time until Light appears and creates distinction through duality. Essentially, “one” divides into “two” and so begins the creative process that brings forth life. More so, in AS life is cyclical & symmetrical – everything from the smallest quarks to the largest galactic cluster mirrors each other, albeit in different forms / states of existence.
This brings us to Marriage – in the same way that Blackness / Infinite Source sees the union of duality as the source material for creation, the union of two individuals produces the source material for creation to occur at a human level. Furthermore, much like the creative process wherein multiple steps exist before a creation can be manifested, so too in the African institution of marriage exists a process of multiple steps before the newly-weds are intertwined in creative harmony. Below steps for the Zulu cultural marriage ceremony, as an example:
- uKuthuma’incwadi: Grooms family sends a letter outlining their intentions
- iNkulumo’yamalobolo: the Grooms family meets with the Brides’ family to negotiate dowry;
- uGqiba Masondo: The Bride’s family presents gifts & say thank you to the Groom's family, "bury the tracks" the Groom's family made to see the Bride's family in the stage of amalobolo;
- uMembeso: The Groom’s family “covers” the Bride’s family in gifts and blankets;
- uKwaba: The Bride presents the Groom's family with gifts;
- uMgcagco: The official wedding where the Bride is planted in her new home as the creator of new generational history
Each step is imperative in the conjoining of two families and the soon-to-be newly-weds. The process essentially invites the families to “ku’akhwe’ubuhlobo” which is to essentially “to build a relationship” or “to build a nest in each other’s home”. More importantly, it gives the soon to be newly-weds an opportunity to take responsibility over their marriage, ensuring the wife’s family that their “new son” is equipped to provide, protect and support their daughter; and ensuring the groom’s family that their “new daughter” is capable of injecting peace, abundance and creative inspiration into their son.
The most important consideration in the African marriage custom however is the conjoining of Ancestors. In most African cultures, the marriage rites are overseen by a dowry which introduces the exchange of livestock, most commonly cattle. The cattle exchange and “nest-building” are a way of informing the Ancestors of the oncoming marriage ceremony, and bringing them together to preside over the festivities (A cow is equivalent to an Ancestor, so giving away a cow to a the new family you are essentially asking your Ancestors to go meet with the Ancestors of the new family). Moreover, within every familial lineage exists a genetic code that carries the entire history of that lineage. The genetic code is an Ancestral inheritance and treasure-trove of blessings that the Ancestors bestow to their children as they journey through Earth. By incorporating Ancestors in the marriage process, you introduce the new partner to Ancestors as one of your own. Marriage denotes that the union of two individuals is harmonized as one, so the Ancestor, to the height of their limitations, bless the partner as one of their own children since the partner has incorporated themselves into the new lineage’s genetic code by means of undergoing rites of union through the AS process AND birthing a new creation (ie: a newborn child, aka a new family in the lineage). A cohesive family unit is the objective of marriage in AS because it ensures the expansion of family / lineage and generational continuity of compounding abundance. The principles embedded in a cohesive family unit spread generationally and societally.
This brings us to the objective of marriage in AS: a pillar for nation building. In the same way that marriage and family mirror universal creation (the convergence of duality to create something anew), a nation mirrors the family unit. If the family unit is in harmony with a universal consciousness and at peace with itself + the environment, then so too then nation will be in harmony and at peace with all elements. This is reason why Ancient African societies needn’t institute the big brother-esque political systems of today – because the consciousness (ubuNtu) and customs (isiNtu) were of a highest alignment, ensuring a generational continuity of peace, abundance and prosperity. Even in modern times the consciousness of family unit’s being the bedrock of nation building still persists, albeit through different customs.
UNITED ARAB EMIRATES
In the Muslim religion, marriage is a fundamental building block for life and is seen as a blessing from Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala as one can only reach fulfilment in wisdom, knowledge and perfection through union with a spouse. Knowing this, in 1992 Emirati Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum instituted a marriage grant for newly-wed Emirati couples. Alongside a grant of AED70000 (approx. R350 000), the newly-weds family building courses, couples financial planning, in-law mediation programs and even a land deposit to build a new home. Over 90 000 couples have benefitted from this grant, and the results of social and economic welfare since inception are staggering. The wealth per capita for beneficiaries of this grant is approx. $216 000 per couple. Since 1992, UAE GDP grew from $54 billion to $358 billion in 2022 (all time high of $422 billion prior to Covid-19), growing at an average of 6.7% per year in the 30 year duration. Literacy rates also grew from 55.72% in 1992 to 95.53% in 2022, whilst crime rates dropped significant from 12.77 crimes reported per 100 000 people to 0.65 per 100 000 people. The unemployment rate remained under 1.3% for Emirati’s since 1992, and the large unemployment booms of 2005 & 2015 in the UAE were driven by the influx of migrants in the respective years.
INDIA
Switching gears to another nation that is much lauded for its wedding ceremonies, India also provides a marriage grant, although the grant is offered newly-wedded daughters of government employees (both current and former). Instituted in 1981, the marriage grant is worth Rs50000 (approx. R11000) and includes marriage counselling, family building and child-rearing classes as well wedding assistance. Whilst the per capita numbers are not as impressive as Dubai due to the volume of individuals, the GDP numbers more than make up for it. India’s GDP grew more than 15x, in 40 years, from $186 billion in 1981 to $3.12 trillion in 2022; furthermore, India just eclipsed the UK to become the world’s 5th largest economy, and is on course to be the third largest economy before the close of the decade, growing at over 6.2% year-on-year. India’s literacy rate grew for 40.76% in 1981 to 74.87% in in 2022 and crime rate also dropped by 117% since the 1980’s – from a high of 6.29 for every 100 000 to a modest 3.3 for every 100 000. The unemployment remain within the 5% region as well despite a younger generation at an average age of 44 moving into the workforce.
Marriage is the cornerstone for a functioning society because it provides a base for generational continuity and nation building excellence through the structure of a cohesive family unit. African leadership can draw inspiration from the AS, the past, the UAE and India on how to encourage its youth to organize themselves in unions that can bear the principles which will build the nations they must now inherit.
Siyabonga!!!
This week's affirmation: I am overflowing with love
This weeks vibe: https://music.apple.com/uz/music-video/tides/1543669606 / https://open.spotify.com/track/6GWbylTtbLetG7vfl4tlkI / https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hlkx8PIoMoc - Tides by Shekhinah
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